lemememeringue:

ngl I could do without experiencing the epic highs and lows of mental illness

dontblamethewitches:

me when someone tells me they don’t like food they just eat because they have to

chasiteymphoto:

salroka:

some dudebro: women are too emotional to be jedi

me: 

misandryad:

People keep posting ‘what’s REALLY in your food’ articles like I’m gonna stop eating whatever it’s about lmao
Listen, death is coming. Death is coming. Pass me a hot dog.

dictionaryofobscuresorrows:

austice

n. a wistful omen of the first sign of autumn—a subtle coolness in the shadows, a rustling of dead leaves abandoned on the sidewalk, or a long skein of geese sweeping over your head like the second hand of a clock.

Pre-order “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows” book here: https://bit.ly/3z1RYvH

hersheycountdown:

hersheychocolateworld:

Hey, it’s Hershey. We already got our first exciting fan letter! Let’s see what it says

It’s from Forrest. Hi, Forrest! You suggested that we should delete our account on July 17th, 2021. 

Well Forrest, I have a suggestion for you. On July 17th, 2021, I suggest you start running. 

margauxawill:

gravywheels:

foxnewsfuckfest:

government-mandated-robo-gf:

fluoride-bomb:

sheepdippedmax:

impactings:

When I’m married someday I want to be so in love that our kids are disgusted

If your “loving” relationship disgusts your kids then you’ve probably caused them trama from exposing them to your toxic relationship with your SO that you’re now rekindling in front of their faces and they hate you for it

max they mean in the lighthearted “eeeeeew moom” way not like fucking in front of them

I genuinely cannot comprehend how they came up with that paragraph

How is this website free

It isn’t free. I pay dearly for every post

I pay dearly for every post.

lowernorfair:

d3ssins:

girl scout: hi how are yo-

me: thin mints